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Big Bangs and Prompt Fills

I participated in two different Big Bangs this summer, and both acted as prompt fills for the table. "Of Falling Rain and Beating Hearts" filled the rain spot on the table and was basically wish fulfilment before season two of Agents of SHIELD began. 'Law & Order: MCU' took the Agents of SHIELD characters and put them in a crime drama AU, which is a bit unexpected for me since I don't usually write AUs. They were a lot of work, but so fun.

Big Damn Table

stars understanding arguments/fighting conversation darkness
again warm breathing cold hurt
lost rain unexpected sunshine abrupt
pictures letters hard soft reminder
relaxation dreams hospital in the past in the future
kitchen late night on the run early morning taking charge
coats leadership sharing hiding help
risk blood power Avenger/s nightmares
time control fairness trust do-over
regrets transportation empty washing mission


Happy Birthday to alkmene, whose birthday I missed a few days ago, though I think you use live journal as sporadically as I do now, so you might not even see that.

Long time, no write, eh?

In my defense I've done a heck of a lot of fanfiction writing in the last few months. Seriously, a lot. In fact, I just sent off my first Big Bang story ever to my newly minted Beta last night. Is it strange that it's more nerve wracking sending something to one person for editing than it is just posting it for the entire internet to see if they want to? I'm a little nervous. I don't really get nervous about stuff like that. I'm also excited though. First Big Bang ever. I've definitely enjoyed having the pressure of the deadline, though I changed my mind about what I was writing about five times.

Also,in just a couple of weeks, I should know for sure if I get to transfer to a new store for work or not. Signs from the new store point to yes, but my boss is dragging his feet, which makes me a little anxious. They know that if I don't get to transfer, I'm quitting, so... I feel like I need to have a backup plan just in case. We shall see, I guess.

Now, after this teeny, tiny, little update, I'm off to do some more writing.

Slowly, and then all at once.

Writing Prompt: Write a letter to the one that got away.


We haven’t spoken in years. I haven’t even seen you since long before I claimed my diploma. It’s funny. I thought once we parted ways, I would constantly give in to the urge to Facebook-stalk you, that I wouldn’t really be able to let you go, that we would still trade meaningless notes across cyberspace. Good thing I got rid of my account.

To be perfectly honest, when we first met, I didn’t think you were anyone special. You didn't take my breath away at first sight. You were just another coworker to train in a long line of temporary employees. I thought we’d only know each other in passing, maybe for a month or two, even a semester while we worked in shifts amongst parties and class schedules at a University where it was easy to be just another face in a crowd. Somewhere between running a cash register and answering stupid questions from shoppers, playing beer pong with mutual friends and eating bad protein bars on the way to class, we became friends. I’m still not sure why. We didn’t really have anything in common.

You were majoring in something involving numbers. I was majoring in something involving words. You couldn’t understand how someone could love the written word as much as I did. I couldn’t understand why you would want to spend the rest of your life doing math problems. “What’s your favorite color” was your favorite pick up line. A few of the girls from work and I used to tease you about it. I can’t even remember how that came up, but for some reason, we thought it was the funniest thing in the world, especially when one of the new girls would launch into an explanation of why yellow was just perfect. You loved movies where people blew things up. I loved movies where it turned out nothing was as it seemed. You stayed up late. I got up early. You loved steak. I loved salad. You did things fast and loud. I preferred to watch and smile. We shouldn’t have clicked, but we did.

I remember spending three hours on the phone with you on a Saturday night. A Saturday night when we both could have been at house parties, flirting with other people, getting drunk off our asses in the college way, and instead, I laid on my bed and listened to you prattle on about your classes, not wanting to go home the next weekend, hating work, worrying about your best friend in the marines, and your ex-girlfriend who went to our school. I propped my feet up on the wall while you clicked away playing some stupid computer game that I hated. You listened to me talk about my worries about my major, how I thought I was taking the wrong path, my dislike of my roommate, how much I missed my high school friends, and how I would never understand how sorority girls could spend all day in high heels. We talked about nothing and everything, and it was comfortable. I liked being so close to sleep in the middle of the night with your voice in my ear, listening to your breathing slowly evening out, but I ignored what that could have meant.

We changed our majors at the same time, right about the time you left the job and I used it to fill empty hours in my day now that I wasn’t reading volumes of poetry as part of my assignments. We both moved on to subjects involving more science. Our studies moved closer together and we moved just a step apart. You would come in and see me when I was working, coming up behind me and touching my hip to get my attention when I was on the phone. I probably should have recognized it as an intimate gesture at the time, but it was just one of the things that made up our friendship. I would take a break to grab a smoothie with you, and we’d talk about the freshman in my behavioral psych class who kept hitting on me and the girl you made out with who turned out to be engaged. Now, I realize we probably did it to make each other jealous, though we never would have admitted it. There were so many questions of why we weren’t together from coworkers and friends, how we could spend so much time together and have nothing physical happen. I couldn’t explain it. I would stammer and stutter excuses about you being interested in other girls and me not looking for a relationship.

I lied. It was easier than admitting what I was feeling.

Looking back now, I think about John Green’s words from Hazel in The Fault In Our Stars. Hazel fell in love with Gus just like falling asleep, slowly, and then all at once. It’s the perfect description. I wish I could come up with something as gorgeous. I can’t pin point the moment where it was more. I don’t know when or why it happened, just that it did. We talked all the time. We met for study dates even though we didn’t have any of the same classes. We were each other’s date to parties. We would fall asleep between text messages. When we went home to see family we would spend half the time on the phone together. We were everything and nothing, and over time, it was frustrating and confusing, and it couldn’t move forward because neither of us was willing to take a step.

You and I wanted completely different things in life; I imagine we still do. You loved horses and uniformed heroes. You wanted a ring and kids and a white picket fence one day. You loved beer and country music. You wanted hunting trips in the fall and fishing in the summer. I guess horses are cool, as far as animals go. And country music can tell a great story. But I wanted none of those things. I love my isolation. I like sitting by the window and watching the rain pound the streets, not being out in the sun. I don’t want to subject children to my authority. I prefer vodka if I drink at all. I’ve never liked to fish. Watching them be pulled from the water, flopping and gasping for air they can’t breathe, it’s never filled me with a sense of accomplishment.

There are days when I wonder what it would have been like if we had done more than hold hands to keep each other steady at a party or fall asleep on someone’s couch at three in the morning because we didn’t have the energy to go home. I remember how perfectly in place I would feel with your arm around my shoulders. I think about how I could have gotten lost in you if I just let go, stopped holding back. I could have let the clichéd butterflies win out when I was around you. I think about how you once asked me why I was so quick to argue with you, why I let you get so far under my skin when you would tease me while I could let everyone else’s words roll on by, and I told you I didn’t know – you were just irritating. We laughed and let it go, but I wonder what would have happened if I had told you the truth, that I was slowly falling for you and it terrified me.

Then, I remember the fish. How getting lost in you, I probably would have been just like them, leaving the place I truly wanted to be for something shiny and plastic and dangerous. I would have pulled against the line once I realized what was happening, that I was stuck. I would have thrashed and fought you, I would have gasped for air that I couldn’t quite catch, and I would have died in your hands as you boxed me in. We weren’t good for one another. I know that because of the way I let you make me feel as our friendship slowly faded away. You were never going to be the kind of guy I needed you to be, and I never would have been the kind of girl you needed me to be. I know that.

So, I think maybe it was better this way. Maybe I learned something about myself when I pushed you away. Maybe I’m still afraid to fall. Maybe I’m still afraid that love will leave me gasping and stranded. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But I know now that I’ll recognize that feeling when it comes along, that I won’t continually hide it from myself, and that I don’t want to spend my life wondering about what ifs, that the next time I start to slip over the edge, I’ll let go, just to see what could happen. Even though I let you go without a fight, even though we never took that next step, our relationship taught me not to hold back every part of me. I’m still working on that. But it’s mostly because of you.


Tell Me A Story...

Prompt: Recount your earliest memory of writing.

When I was very young, I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. She didn't work once she got married and had kids. She had breakfast at the same diner every morning after she dropped my grandfather off at work. She ran errands, watched soap operas, and chain smoked her way through too many cigarettes to count. She had coffee at the same spot in the afternoon with friends before she went to pick up my grandfather from work. She could also make a mean ceramic cat, the perfect southern style biscuits, and she was a pretty good polka dancer. She was one of my favorite people in the entire world when I was five.

The summer between kindergarten and first grade, rather than put me in a summer camp or day care program, my mom opted to let me stay with my grandmother during the day. My mom worked for a printing company, and every year at Christmas, my mom would use leftover pieces of Technicolor paper to create notepads in the bindery for family and friends. No two were alike. One day, my grandmother pulled a pink sheet of paper from the notepad and used a ruler and a black marker to draw lines on it. She had me write my name on the first line, then she took over for the rest, asking me to help her write a story to tell my grandfather what we did that day.

I told her, and she copied down my words exactly, of how we had bacon and potatoes at a little place called Munch's. I used grape jelly on my toast. Grandma used strawberry. I remember that because my grandmother always preferred strawberry and I always preferred grape. It still sticks out in my head, her teasing me that one day I would like strawberry too. I do. But never as much as grape. She wrote about us going to the store to pick up new house slippers for her and new socks for him. She wrote about me learning how to play solitaire. She even wrote down my words about how she didn't slice her apples the same way he did, and eating an apple with her just wasn't the same as eating an apple with my grandfather on Friday nights while she and my mom went and played bingo.

It was little more than a list of what we did that day, but after we picked up my grandfather from work and he let me sit in his chair with him while he read my day to me aloud, it was like magic. I wanted to do one new thing everyday so I had something else to put in the story we told. We did that a couple of days a week that whole summer and I went into first grade with much better reading and writing skills than my counterparts.

I've loved writing ever since.

Both of my grandparents are gone now, and I don't have any of those lined sheets of Technicolor paper with our stories on them. I wish I did.


So, I did sign up to participate in a big bang this summer. I convinced myself to accept the challenge. I will be writing something Agents of SHIELD related. I just saw that marvel_bang has more than 300 story sign ups though! Talk about intimidating!

No, but really. I'm excited to see what people write for it since they can write for anything Marvel related - comics, movies, television, everything. It's going to be fascinating come August to see what everyone has done.

I may also have already started outlining because I seem to have this deep abiding love for outline and list making that never died from all those papers I wrote in high school. Haha.


I don't usually post links to fanfiction in my livejournal, but I completed my first prompt on the table. Not going to lie, kind of exciting. I think I'm going to have fun with this.

Big Damn Table

stars understanding arguments/fighting conversation darkness
again warm breathing cold hurt
lost rain unexpected sunshine abrupt
pictures letters hard soft reminder
relaxation dreams hospital in the past in the future
kitchen late night on the run early morning taking charge
coats leadership sharing hiding help
risk blood power Avenger/s nightmares
time control fairness trust do-over
regrets transportation empty washing mission
Have I Mentioned I'm Getting Paid To Write?

I know a lot of people hate online content mills. You don't get your own byline for the articles you write because most of it is filler content for websites that want things written on the cheap. Let me tell you though, if you write quickly like I do, you can make a decent amount of money doing it. I made $250 last week just in writing these short little descriptions for points of interest for a travel website. I'm loving it. It gives me a chance to write something that doesn't require a ton of creative thought. It helps clear my head for more fictional writing. Loving it. So much.

Tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day!

I have never actually made it to a comic book store on Free Comic Book Day. I fully intend to go out tomorrow morning and pick up my subscriptions though so I can check out the craziness. The local shop is supposed to have artists in the store doing sketches. I want to see the full on geek party.

Do People Still Make Money For Writing Short Stories?

I have trouble finishing anything novel length. Seriously, this is something I've realized about myself while expanding my fanfiction repertoire lately. I kind of love writing short stories. I always thought that novels would be my thing, but I don't think they are. Are there still writers out there who just do short stories? Because most volumes of short stories nowadays that I've seen are by multiple authors who usually write novels, but are participating in some sort of themed project. I feel like I could make this happen. Somehow.

Should I Participate In A Big Bang Challenge?

I have never done a fanfiction Big Bang before. I really want to challenge myself though. I've been doing all of these 2-4000 word stories lately, and I'd really like to commit myself to doing something longer. With Big Bangs, they're usually a commitment of 10,000 words. There's a Marvel Universe Big Bang on LiveJournal, which would be right in line with my current Agents of SHIELD obsession, and even during the months when the show is off the air here. I'm thinking I might do it. I have two weeks to decide before sign ups close...

That's all for today. Off to do some writing. I know, my Friday nights are so wild, right?

So many writing prompts...

I'm in the middle of a story, but I got stuck and thought I would clear my head looking for a few random writing prompts to give me something else to focus on. I found this amazing prompt table:

Big Damn Table

stars understanding arguments/fighting conversation darkness
again warm breathing cold hurt
lost rain unexpected sunshine abrupt
pictures letters hard soft reminder
relaxation dreams hospital in the past in the future
kitchen late night on the run early morning taking charge
coats leadership sharing hiding help
risk blood power Avenger/s nightmares
time control fairness trust do-over
regrets transportation empty washing mission

I will most definitely be working on this throughout the next few months. How much fun will this be for Agents of SHIELD? I'm having a ridiculously good time playing with the characters on this show. Every time I try to write for something else, it begins to feel like work. I so wish I had created at least one of these characters.

I kind of love William Shatner

I don't know if you guys have heard, but William Shatner, the original Star Trek Captain himself, has been live tweeting shows for that little network aimed at young adults, The CW. Why would William Shatner, who probably has better things to do with his time, devote hours every week to shows that he has no affiliation with? Yeah, that's right. He doesn't work for the network, and he doesn't appear in any of the shows. It's for quite possibly the best reason ever:

He told the Washington Post:

The CW network seems to be the last bastion of Science Fiction shows on broadcast television so I am obviously very interested in ensuring the genre on TV stays alive.

I'd like to point out that ratings for all of the shows that he's been live tweeting have gone up since he's done so.

I think that's awesome. I mean, yes, there are other science fiction shows on television. But the CW definitely has a special place in my genre loving heart. Right now, Shatner is focused on Supernatural, The Tomorrow People, The 100, and Star-Crossed. He's also made plans to live tweet the finale of Once Upon A Time on ABC, and an episode of Warehouse 13 on SyFy at some point.

Now, he isn't being compensated by the network, but from what I understand, cast members from the various shows have donated signed items for auction for his charity. I'd say that's a win-win.

Somebody get him to live tweet Agents of SHIELD and Believe. I'd love to see his take on those. It would be amazing.

Here's his twitter for anyone who's interested in following him.

Haters of the ever expanding stories on tv, beware! I found myself writing this essay after seeing so many complaints this tv season.

Why I love a good spin-off is under the cutCollapse )

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